What to Take Responsibility For

Ok, so this is a big topic. I don’t have intent to take on all of it.

However, you know how sometimes when you’ve been thinking about something for a while without getting enough clarity (hours, days, months, years), and then it pops up quite magically as if the gestation period just became clear.

Some of that happened for me this week in c0-hosting a group of 50 at AoH – PDX, in Portland, Oregon. I scribbled the clarity about responsibility and teaching on the paper above.

These come from a lot of wondering for me, perhaps in the category of what’s mine to take on, and what’s not. What’s kind to take on, and what’s not. What I’m able to take on, and what I’m not.

  1. I’m NOT Responsible For Another Person’s Learning — Truth be told, I want every participant at the events I’m hosting to love every moment and to get every minute detail as well as the breadth of the long arcs. There are many things I hope people get. But in the end, I don’t know what people will learn. It might be the model I’m sharing. It might be something far more nuanced that is stimulated by learning the model. I’m probably not totally done with falling into feeling it’s my responsibility. But I’m going to hold this as key learning.
  2. I AM Responsible to Create Container — I loved emphasizing together with my friends and colleagues, Kevin Heibert, Jessica Riehl, and Sara Rosenau that the event is three days long. It’s not one day. It’s not one afternoon. Some people get churned delightfully. Some get frustrated. What is mine to take on is a quality and deliberate container. Good checkins. Good teachings. Helpful tools. Helpful learning environments in which people can feel safe enough, creative, connected, and imaginative.
  3. I AM Responsible to Extend Invitation — All of learning is invitation. You can lead a horse to water, but no, can’t make it drink. Sometimes the invitation is to be in the big story. Sometimes it is to find a few inspirations of application. Even when I totally implore people to get something that means a lot to me and is central to the body of work, my job is to invite people to get it for themselves and not just because I love the bejeebers out of it.
  4. I AM Responsible to Get Myself In The Room — This means being present. This means showing up with my learning. This means showing up to be honest, authentic, and following what I love. My friend Quanita has been sharing some really good emphasis on this lately. “If I can get myself in the room,” she says, “then spirit can work through me.” I don’t know all of what that means, but I relate to it. When I’m in learning, people seem to arrive more open in their learning. And, well, it’s really fun.

Good stuff. Simple stuff. Good surprise.

Glad to have it arising from a great week.

 

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Gifts of Circle - Question Cardsasd
Gifts of Circle is 30 short essays divided into 4 sections: 1) Circle's Bigger Purpose, 2) Circle's Practice, 3) Circle's First Requirements, and 4) Circle's Possibility for Men. From the Introduction: "Circle is what I turn to in the most comprehensive stories I know -- the stories of human beings trying to be kind and aware together, trying to make a difference in varied causes for which we need to go well together. Circle is also what I turn to in the most immediate needs that live right in front of me and in front of most of us -- sharing dreams and difficulties, exploring conflicts and coherences. Circle is what I turn to. Circle is what turns us to each other."

Question Cards is an accompanying tool to Gifts of Circle. Each card (34) offers a quote from the corresponding chapter in the book, followed by sample questions to grow your Circle hosting skills and to create connection, courage, and compassionate action among groups you host in Circle.

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In My Nature
is a collection of 10 poems. From A Note of Beginning: "This collection of poems arises from the many conversations I've been having about nature. Nature as guide. Nature as wild. Nature as organized. I remain a human being that so appreciates a curious nature in people. That so appreciates questions that pick fruit from inner being, that gather insights and intuitions to a basket, and then brings the to table to be enjoyed and shared over the next week."

This set of Note Cards (8 cards + envelopes)  quotes a few favorite passages from poems in In My Nature. I offer them as inspiration. And leave room for you to write personal notes.

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Most Mornings is a collection of 37 poems. I loved writing them. From the introduction: "This collection of poems comes from some of my sense-making that so often happens in the morning, nurtured by overnight sleep. The poems sample practices. They sample learnings. They sample insights and discoveries. They sample dilemmas and concerns."

This set of Note Cards (8 cards + envelopes)  quotes a few favorite passages from poems in Most Mornings. I offer them as inspiration. And leave room for you to write personal notes.

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