What is the Art in the Art of Hosting?

While hosting an open-enrollment Art of Hosting at Bowen Island last month, one of my own learning edge questions that arrived was about the art in the art of hosting. It is not a new question. Many of us have been in it for a while. But it was coming stronger for me. Perhaps because of our hosting team — Chris Corrigan, Caitlin Frost, Monica Nissen, David Stevensen. Perhaps inspired by an evening conversation I was in with four participants as one commented, “OK, so it isn’t about the methods. What is it about you guys as hosts?” It was asked in friendship and with appreciation. And it was asked with invitation to mine the tacit parts of hosting, the art.

Chris and I hosted a session in a knowledge cafe the next morning. It was straight-up inquiry. About 20 joined this session. With gratitude for all that participated, here is a bit of what surfaced for me:

– seeing things that others don’t see, AND, trusting that seeing

I’m thinking now of an recent hosting with colleague Nancy Egan and the New York City Department of Education. We had hosted a cafe that really moved people into the beginning of solutions. It was a bit early in the process. It felt like we could go, and needed to go, further into the core need and purpose of their education reform work. And that there was more connecting in relationship that could happen around that shared sense of need. We saw a need to diverge further. The client was concerned, wanting to make sure that those who commited to come would feel the time was “well spent.” We chose to host some triad conversations about what students would tell us about what they most wanted. We harvested these to the whole group. And we then extracted principles for collaboration. Seeing that need to diverge sparked the heartfulness of that group. We trusted that read. It served well.

– being in a daily practice of staying curious

I think of curiosity as a core competency here. It supports another core competency of organizational learning. In the context that we now live in — rapid change, infrastructural change, increased awareness of systemic complexity, urgency — at all levels we need to learn. Individuals, teams, communities. Curiosity is what invites the learning. It is what shifts the “yah but” to “what if?” The daily practice for me includes some grounding principles. There is always more going on than it seems. This alone is strong because of the relational nature of work. The dynamic interaction requires us to retrain to look for conditions and patterns. Much to be curious about with this.

– laugh

I am grateful to Dustin Rivers, a paraticipant, who taught us laughing yoga. The simple space to laugh with each other. And I am grateful to him for naming laughter as a fundamental metric. Several times he commented on the point at which he began to laugh again. I don’t know all of what makes laughter important. It just seems to be a fundamentally enjoyable part of relationships (and the paradox of laughter amidst very serious things) that opens us to new relations with each other. That includes new relations of learning.

– leading from the field

I think this one is related to seeing what others don’t. It is something about showing up and because of who we are, resonating out with that.

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Gifts of Circle - Question Cardsasd
Gifts of Circle is 30 short essays divided into 4 sections: 1) Circle's Bigger Purpose, 2) Circle's Practice, 3) Circle's First Requirements, and 4) Circle's Possibility for Men. From the Introduction: "Circle is what I turn to in the most comprehensive stories I know -- the stories of human beings trying to be kind and aware together, trying to make a difference in varied causes for which we need to go well together. Circle is also what I turn to in the most immediate needs that live right in front of me and in front of most of us -- sharing dreams and difficulties, exploring conflicts and coherences. Circle is what I turn to. Circle is what turns us to each other."

Question Cards is an accompanying tool to Gifts of Circle. Each card (34) offers a quote from the corresponding chapter in the book, followed by sample questions to grow your Circle hosting skills and to create connection, courage, and compassionate action among groups you host in Circle.

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In My Nature
is a collection of 10 poems. From A Note of Beginning: "This collection of poems arises from the many conversations I've been having about nature. Nature as guide. Nature as wild. Nature as organized. I remain a human being that so appreciates a curious nature in people. That so appreciates questions that pick fruit from inner being, that gather insights and intuitions to a basket, and then brings the to table to be enjoyed and shared over the next week."

This set of Note Cards (8 cards + envelopes)  quotes a few favorite passages from poems in In My Nature. I offer them as inspiration. And leave room for you to write personal notes.

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Most Mornings is a collection of 37 poems. I loved writing them. From the introduction: "This collection of poems comes from some of my sense-making that so often happens in the morning, nurtured by overnight sleep. The poems sample practices. They sample learnings. They sample insights and discoveries. They sample dilemmas and concerns."

This set of Note Cards (8 cards + envelopes)  quotes a few favorite passages from poems in Most Mornings. I offer them as inspiration. And leave room for you to write personal notes.

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