Take The Long Lunch

Quite often I’m in design with people to plan and host either a day-long or multi-day workshop.

Particularly with the day-long, the one-day workshop that doesn’t require a residential sleep over, inevitably, we need to decide how long lunch will be. With many, I notice that the default is to make the lunch as short as possible. Not an hour. Maybe 45 minutes. Sometimes as little as 30 minutes. Definitely not 75 or 90 minutes.

The short lunch is not the default I would recommend.

The obvious in this for me is that lunch is about far more than consuming food and going to the bathroom. This kind of nobility that many have associated with efficiency is misguided. Except when it is not, of course, which is sometimes. When we are in task mode rolling out solutions that are obvious, then I accept that there are times to just “git ‘er done.” However, let’s not make that our only mode, our only orientation to lunch — it’s not super sustainable.

In learning workshops, when people are learning new practices and paradigms, integration time matters. Rather than compressing more activity and more learning into a tight space, so often, the need is to let things settle. To welcome a non-linear, more oblique kind of learning to occur.

For this reason, most of the time, I lean to the longer lunch. And to be transparent, as a facilitator, I often find I need a bit of the extra time. While participants are having lunch, I’m often setting up what will happen when we all come back from lunch. Facilitators need a bit of break also.

I lean to a time frame that stretches the norm, so that, people even feel a bit of boredom. I don’t want to lose people to the ever available trip back to the office. I don’t want to lose them to isolated social media. What I really hope for is that people will group up together — “we’ve got time, we might as well talk.”

Long lunches are about connection. Sometimes social, to explore non-work stuff. Sometimes conversational, about questions that have percolated up from earlier in the day. Sometimes about the rare gift of time to think privately, or together, while taking a walk.

Integration isn’t to be forced. It needs time.

Just like blossoming trees need time. Or flowers. Or fields of wheat.

Integration, ideas that settle, requires the longer lunch. So much more than food. So much about giving the group permission, or just enough container, for what comes from the novelty (or awkwardness) of time.

Gifts of Circle - Question Cardsasd
Gifts of Circle is 30 short essays divided into 4 sections: 1) Circle's Bigger Purpose, 2) Circle's Practice, 3) Circle's First Requirements, and 4) Circle's Possibility for Men. From the Introduction: "Circle is what I turn to in the most comprehensive stories I know -- the stories of human beings trying to be kind and aware together, trying to make a difference in varied causes for which we need to go well together. Circle is also what I turn to in the most immediate needs that live right in front of me and in front of most of us -- sharing dreams and difficulties, exploring conflicts and coherences. Circle is what I turn to. Circle is what turns us to each other."

Question Cards is an accompanying tool to Gifts of Circle. Each card (34) offers a quote from the corresponding chapter in the book, followed by sample questions to grow your Circle hosting skills and to create connection, courage, and compassionate action among groups you host in Circle.

This will close in 60 seconds

asd
In My Nature
is a collection of 10 poems. From A Note of Beginning: "This collection of poems arises from the many conversations I've been having about nature. Nature as guide. Nature as wild. Nature as organized. I remain a human being that so appreciates a curious nature in people. That so appreciates questions that pick fruit from inner being, that gather insights and intuitions to a basket, and then brings the to table to be enjoyed and shared over the next week."

This set of Note Cards (8 cards + envelopes)  quotes a few favorite passages from poems in In My Nature. I offer them as inspiration. And leave room for you to write personal notes.

This will close in 60 seconds

asd
Most Mornings is a collection of 37 poems. I loved writing them. From the introduction: "This collection of poems comes from some of my sense-making that so often happens in the morning, nurtured by overnight sleep. The poems sample practices. They sample learnings. They sample insights and discoveries. They sample dilemmas and concerns."

This set of Note Cards (8 cards + envelopes)  quotes a few favorite passages from poems in Most Mornings. I offer them as inspiration. And leave room for you to write personal notes.

This will close in 60 seconds