Human to Human

Meet Dr. Rita Fierro. I did, seven years or so ago.

Rita was participant in a Rites of Passage program, Fire & Water. I was co-leading with Quanita Roberson.

Rita’s work has been very centered in social justice through her life. She’s got big heart. She’s got clear principles. I got to reflect and write a forward for her book, Digging Up The Seeds of White Supremacy.

Recently Rita shared these seven principles and practices — “things she’s learned over 30 years of social justice work.”

I’m glad for the inspirations. Applied to social justice, yes, but also to conscious living and learning in many fields of human being.

Rita’s words…

1. Outrage is an unsustainable center for action. Outrage consumes the body, the mind, and the soul.
2. Reacting to every injustice in the news cycle isn’t activism. If speaking up takes energy away from the difference that matters to you most, it’s not activism. It’s self-sabotage. 
3. Plan the pauses. As you think about your upcoming year now, set a rhythm of breaks: weekly, monthly, and yearly. Of course, not all of them may come true, but planning for 65 breaks may make at least 30 a reality. 
4. What I need to restore, is up to me. Whatever I need to stay in the game is a priority.
5. Releasing grief is a priority. It will leave space for more of the good stuff.
6. Prioritize joy. Joy regenerates. It will keep you in the game longer.        
7. Have a social justice strategy. It’s easier to be on the journey for the long-haul when there are small successes along the way in the areas we care most about.

AoPL (The Art of Participative Leadership) as offered last week was a three day program. Last week was intended three days in person. We got two — quite significantly. And then due to winter storm and a university closure, we switched the last day to online (thanks to the big skills of Chris Corrigan and Caitlin Frost).

One of the things I like about hosting such gatherings is that it refreshes the deep and simple purpose of gathering. It refreshes the intention. I wrote this earlier in my journal:

The job is to connect a group so that it can be wise, kind, and conscious together.

• Methods for engagement help with that (Circle, World Cafe, Open Space, Proaction Cafe, and many moments of Turning to One Another).
• A few orientations and maps help with that (Chaos and Order, 4-Fold Practice, Limiting Beliefs, Cynefin).
• Spacious pace helps with that (not everything is meant to be solved quickly. Or over-simplified. Some things are meant to be dwelled with).
• Authenticity helps with that. It’s so good to see people opening themselves and in the company of their colleagues. It brings vitality.

So much of all of that last week. Connected. Wise. Kind. Conscious. And then other things that grow from that. Courage. Compassion.

That feeling is the outcome. It is the job. It’s temporary for some. But it’s lasting and life-changing for many.

What a treat to be in such work and purpose, and in such good company — those in the room and those I host with that are now in our 20+ years of friendship.

I loved these reflections from a group in Circle this week at UTA. I’d asked them to reflect in groups of six, knee to knee (no tables), lightly hosted. Total time was 30-35 minutes.

• They had a check-in round: What is one inspiration or learning you received today?
• Then a bigger round: How are you doing as a leader? What has your attention? and/or worry? and/or your excitement? Share a story. 
• Then a check-out round: What is one thing you learned / appreciated from this circle?

Above is some of the harvest. Yummy.

• shared experience — challenges across the board.
• feel less alone — none of us totally have our act together
• allows a bitter understanding of others — and that things are or will be ok
• gives permission to open up — create psychological safety
• reveals opportunities and griefs — to get help and move forward

Leaders need spaces of witness and learning. Humans need it. Circle is so often what offers that.

Yup. Learned and appreciated.

I’m working this week in Arlington, Texas. Co-leading an Art of Participatory Leadership offering with my friends Caitlin Frost and Chris Corrigan. It’s three days. There is a group of 40 for this one.

One of our first steps on the first day with the group is creating a center. We invite people to bring a small object “that inspires them in their leadership.” In this format, after a bit of welcome and context, we give them 10 minutes in trios to share story of their items. Then in whole circle, each gets a sentence or two and places their item in the center. We go around the whole group.

A theme I’m living lately is how some “seemingly small things are actually big things.” Inviting this circle with these artifacts is an important example of that.

• Helps people have voice immediately.
• Makes it personal.
• Invites tone of story.
• Brings connection.

And then so much good grows out of that. People show up with a bit more belonging. And a bit more courage and compassion together. The learning is so much better then.

Some people bring poems as their item. One from yesterday was this Maya Angelou quote:

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

That’s what that opening circle with artifacts is. A feeling to remember. And to carry into all of the other learning of the day.

Fun.