Civility Matters

My colleagues at the Salt Lake Center for Engaging Community, particularly John Kesler and Jane Holt, have been hosting some significant state-wide work on civility. It is intended to create a more healthy pattern of dialogue at all levels of community and government. It has the backing of several key state and municipal leaders.

A while back I joined one of the evenings of community engagement. A couple of mayors in the Salt Lake Valley spoke to endorse the process. It was a simple format to learn more deeply with one another by sharing story and response to these two questions: 1) Why does civility matter to you? 2) Where have you seen civility at it’s best?

Lovely small groups convened. I love feeling the power of dialogue as the simple exchange helps make more clarity a more broad and rich intelligence. The group I participated in was hosted by another SLCEC colleague, Steve Prather. As I participated, I noticed and harvested the following five principles and practices to improve civility:

  1. Kindness multiplies (kindness attracts kindness).
  2. Brilliance is essential (in these times of intractable challenges and irrepressible dreams). Civility supports this.
  3. Give primary attention and time to what you care about (and do so by frequently asking what is possible).
  4. Ground yourself (incivility is a pattern and can sweep your feet out if you aren’t grounded). Yes, many of us live between worlds.
  5. Remain unquestionably committed to purpose. It is the center, the energetic hearth if you will. What my friend, Toke Moeller calls, “the invisible leader.”

I also harvested in this photo some of what I heard from the 6-8 small groups reporting to the whole group.

Rich learning. Much appreciation with and for these local colleagues.

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Gifts of Circle - Question Cardsasd
Gifts of Circle is 30 short essays divided into 4 sections: 1) Circle's Bigger Purpose, 2) Circle's Practice, 3) Circle's First Requirements, and 4) Circle's Possibility for Men. From the Introduction: "Circle is what I turn to in the most comprehensive stories I know -- the stories of human beings trying to be kind and aware together, trying to make a difference in varied causes for which we need to go well together. Circle is also what I turn to in the most immediate needs that live right in front of me and in front of most of us -- sharing dreams and difficulties, exploring conflicts and coherences. Circle is what I turn to. Circle is what turns us to each other."

Question Cards is an accompanying tool to Gifts of Circle. Each card (34) offers a quote from the corresponding chapter in the book, followed by sample questions to grow your Circle hosting skills and to create connection, courage, and compassionate action among groups you host in Circle.

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In My Nature
is a collection of 10 poems. From A Note of Beginning: "This collection of poems arises from the many conversations I've been having about nature. Nature as guide. Nature as wild. Nature as organized. I remain a human being that so appreciates a curious nature in people. That so appreciates questions that pick fruit from inner being, that gather insights and intuitions to a basket, and then brings the to table to be enjoyed and shared over the next week."

This set of Note Cards (8 cards + envelopes)  quotes a few favorite passages from poems in In My Nature. I offer them as inspiration. And leave room for you to write personal notes.

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This set of Note Cards (8 cards + envelopes)  quotes a few favorite passages from poems in Most Mornings. I offer them as inspiration. And leave room for you to write personal notes.

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