You know how you sometimes have themes that pop up in the day, week, month that are a just-right fit for the life that seems to be happening? They aren’t consciously planned. But they are consciously welcomed? Something like that. Today is one of those days for me. “Let it be unknown.” That’s the theme.
This morning my daughter called me. She’s in tears. It was a “what should I do” call. She’s been sick with bronchitis. Wearing her down. Something shifted into her sinuses. She’s at the start of a new semester in college. New classes. She is starting a new job, without really clear directions on when to start, etc. She’s concerned about disappointing others and herself. She’s frustrated to the point when it feels like everything is going wrong.
I talked with her. My tone is careful and thoughtful I’d like to think. With brief pause and inner search for what I could offer that would be helpful, I start with, “If it were me, I’d….” I want to be helpful. In compassion and kindness. Not the same as rescuing, though there is a part of me that wants to do that also. I gave her a few of those. Call your boss. Leave a message. Apologize for the awkward timing. Let them know that you are excited about the work. Speak honestly. This isn’t the first or the last time something like this will happen. She is not the only one that this happens too. It is important to myth-bust, no?
That helped.
It was the follow-up text that led to the theme. It is me searching for what is underneath for her. There are unknowns. Fear of crappy outcomes. Fear that they’ve already happened. My best guess — “Let it be unknown. It won’t always be that way. For now rest. Be gentle with yourself and others.”
I have the thought that this helped. The hope. If even only a little now, it is likely to help a lot in the future. Get comfortable with not knowing. The world you, we, live in requires this. And in fact, an unknowing landscape, distressing as it can be, is pretty good birthing ground for new awareness, shift, hell, even transformation.
Let it be unknown came up again later in the morning. Talking with my partner Teresa, we were in one of those conversations about things unseen. I read from a book I’m reading now about how the world is much bigger and weirder that we are lead to believe. Yup. My best way to get into all of that, which feels utterly important as the kind of human that I am, perhaps many are, is to let the unknown be itself for a while. Let it breath. Let it be in it’s own and natural gestation period. Rumi writes something about that that I like, about being comfortable with not knowing the answers. They come to you when it is their time.
It was Rumi that also wrote, “Run from what’s comfortable. Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious. I have tried prudent planning long enough. From now on I’ll be mad.”
Let it be unknown.