On Beauty and Distance Between

One of my friends calls it a “Tulip Tree” because the blossoms resemble tulips. I think it is more properly a “Magnolia Tree.” This one above is on the walk that I most often take with my dog, along Heritage Trail in Lindon, UT. The blossoms are gorgeous, and as you can see plentiful. They are delicate too. A good spring windy day can quite immediately move the bulk of those petals to the ground.

In response to my post yesterday on choice, friendship, and welcome, another friend sent me this from Rainer Maria Rilke, the Austrian poet and mystic of the early 1900s.

“Once the realization is accepted
that even between the closet human beings
infinite distances continue to exists,
a wonderful living side by side can grow up.
If they succeed in loving the distance between them
which makes it possible
for each to see the other
whole and against the wide sky”!

Here’s to the beauty of space between that comes with choice, friendship, and welcome. And to good friends — like the one currently in Maui, Hawaii, who sent me this Rilke passage.

Choice, Friendship, and Welcome

Today, a friend that watches out for me sent me this.

“Love is the ability and willingness
to allow those that you care for
to be what they choose for themselves
without any insistence that they satisfy you.”

It is from Wayne Dyer, the American philosopher and self-help author, who died in 2015.

Yesterday, I was being interviewed about relational dynamics in leadership, by a PhD candidate working on his dissertation. I remembered this, from one of my closest pals, Chris Corrigan.

“Friendship is our business model.”

I’ve modified Dyer’s statement.

“Friendship [Love] is the ability and willingness
to welcome [allow] those that you care for
to be what they choose for themselves
without any insistence that thy satisfy you.”

Choice, and friendship, and welcome — they make all of the difference.

Dependent Origination

I met Bob Thompson a couple of years ago when planning an event for the World Parliament of Religions being held in Salt Lake City. Bob was helping myself and a few others imagine a two day event prior to the Parliament. I loved his open, playful, and endearing personality. Ever ready to share a story. I found him kind, gracious, and real.

One of Bob’s books is called, A Voluptuous God: A Christian Heretic Speaks. It’s loaded with rich references and stories told in such human ways. In that book, Bob speaks of the concept of dependent origination:

Dependent origination teaches that everything that exists is dependent on something else. Every part of life is dependent upon other parts of life. The universe is a living organism in which each cell works in balance and cooperation with every other cell in order to sustain the whole.

Good, right. Familiar too, right.

I’m grateful for the many people I’ve met, like Bob, and from many walks of life — theologians, biologists, school teachers, health care professionals, and the like — that feed this narrative arc of an undeniable connectedness. Most of us, in most systems, are trying to relearn this amidst the 300 year wave of industrialization and mechanism that has engrained a cultural story of separateness.

Essential Sustainability

Last week I was at the Intermountain Sustainability Summit, invited by my friend Bonnie Christiansen to host some Round Table Discussions. The summit was the 8th annual, held for the second time at Weber State University in Ogden, Utah. The summit is growing. In size. In awareness of. In creating community and essential connection. It was really fun to be a part of, and to spend the day with another good friend and colleague, Kinde Nebeker, who also facilitated these Round Table Discussions.

The opening keynote was Robert Davies, who is among many things, a physicist. His presentation on planetary boundaries was engaging, clear, and informative. It was also painful. He was speaking a narrative on the state of the planet and its resources. What I always appreciate in complex topics like this is the simplifying down to language that is easy to grasp. For example, “if everyone on the planet consumed at the rate of the average american then we would need five planets worth of resources.” Or that “we as human beings are overspending the bank account that is planetary resources. However, unlike human beings or corporations that make this mistake, the planet is not able to file for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy.”

It’s painful material. But it’s honest material. One of my favorite parts was in the brief question and answer period when someone from the audience began his question with an appreciation — “I enjoyed your talk.” It was just cordial. However, Rob Davies responded quickly and playfully, “Then you must not have been listening.” The message is dire.

When it came to the “what to do” part, there were two pieces that caught my attention in particular. The first was a concept from Joanna Macy. “Slow the damage. Repair the damage. Re-imagine the system causing the damage.” Again, simplicity. Accessible narrative. It’s a framework for anything from an individual beginning to recycle to countries trying to meet thirty year goals of carbon reduction and alternative energy development.

The second piece of todo from Rob Davies was a simple statement that invokes citizenry. “If you want to make a difference, the first thing is to talk about it.” Ah, that’s gold, right. Just talk about it. Just explore forms of listening together.

I’m both excited to hear this statement, and a bit saddened too. The excitement is that this is basic work that I often state as “remembered” work. I work in the fields of dialogue and change. We have to turn to one another. That’s the story for me. To be smart together. To be honest together. To be imaginative together. To take on hard things together.

The sad part for me is that the containers for listening in contemporary society, and more accurately, in the awry practice of meeting, is really freaking askew. Town meetings that are shouting matches. Dialogue panels that turn quickly to interruption at scale. Essential pause and silence that are filled with enormous amounts of data that is filling, but just not nourishing enough to further waken human spirit.

Sustainability is not just about planetary resources of water, clean air, and food systems. It is all of that. Essentially. However, sustainability is also about human beings rekindling genuine curiosity together, the essential spirit of working together rather than against.

Thanks Bonnie Christiansen, Alice Mulder, and all that convened such a great summit and invoked such good attention to sustainability on lots of layers.